there are always time for happiness. but it nv last long. i felt so lost. nuttin is going right, and i can juz pretend tt everything is fine. pple say tt it's so easy to blame others den yaself. for me, its e other way round. always. now there's sth stucked in my head. y am i doing this to myself. i dun wanna be mistaken. but i cant help it. felt so neglected. my bro is going to NS. did i mention it be4? haha. den i'd like to mention again. i dun blame my mum for putting her attention to my bro, cox he's leaving soon. but she put e wrong attention on me. she makes me feel tt i'm turning bad. wen i'm not. cox now she compares. wats there to compare? wif her fren's daughers n sons. we're all diff. i liked e way i am. she noes tt i will not please her juz for e sake of making her happy. i am truthful towards my family members. but do they even realised. therefore i've learnt to pick e right things to tell them. my bro pays attention to all e time he have now. playing games, watching soccer matches.. coming home late.. i'm like so alone at home. maybe i liked it. but i'm not used to it. wen u say sth and nobody listens. they juz hear u. frens were asking abt other things except for me. it always concern e other party more. those who are reading, dun think so much. i might not be referring to u. dun ask mi also. i'm depressed. dun mention. i'm lost. everybody is busy. i noe. i am too. but wat can i do to be even busier. i can dream of e best thing tt could ever happen, but it'll nv come true. i dun wanna live in my dreams. nor i wan it all to come true. confused. but i'm good. STM makes me forget a while. wen i chat wif my frens. i forget. but wen i'm alone. i remember. perhaps i'm not afraid of loneliness. i'm afraid of losing something. i like to solve problems for others. i dunno how to solve it myself. tts all.

Lots of loves, hugs n kisses,

Sharon