Before Am Gone.

Monday, October 15, 2007

okie here's e new blogskin! thankx to JILLIAN!! yeah~ hehe. cox i messed up e previous one. haha! okie.. so here's sth tt i wrote today =)

I've tot it through,

Think tt it'll be good.

To remain it cool,

& go by my book.

Tired of replaying those scenes,

Afraid of getting burnt.

They should not be in my memories,

Put them into bins.

Everytime there's a lil courage,

Fear overtakes.

Such a complicating rage,

I hope it's fake.

Apologizing for scaring and hurting,

Lil did u noe tt I'm feeling it too.

I've decided to make a turn,

I gotta go my own way.

E same old way.

THE END

Lots of loves, hugs n kisses,

Sharon

[Dear Angel, a courageous move rite. i've decided. cox i dun wanna think abt it anymore. however i would look forward for changes, but it's not out there alr. yes, i'm hurting. it's sooner or later. u noe me best. i cant make decisions. i fear e consequences i fear hurting others instead. sorry gals i juz cant stop worrying n thinking for others. it's a habit. Angel, hang in there wif me. we can do it. I LOVE YOU]

i died.
10:35 PM

Sunday, October 14, 2007

haha! i have to say tt i'm a com idiot and this result in this retarded blogskin of mine wen i wanted to change sth under e template. haha! but, she's gonna fix it like real soon so dun think some of ya will be able to see e restorted one. haha. anways, here's my newest entry!

12th Oct, 2007:

we went to celebrate susu's bday. though we din managed to countdown for her, but we had a simple dinner at swensens. :)

was real tired, but dun feel like going home. haha. as usual. and so, weimin, marcus, freda, reei and me bought drinks and walked to esplanade.. sat a while den walked to bugis.. haha. on e way, we called susu and sing birthday song for her =) after eating prata @ bugis, we walked to mustafa.. den i went home alr. while dey left ard 3+. it's gd to juz stay out once a week i guess.. to leave everything tt u've done behind and juz laze ard with ya frens. thankx guys!

13th OCt, 2007:

Hey guys. thankx for everything. okie i needa thank a lot of ppl. however, thank yous are like not and never enough. i juz dunno how to put it. okie so i'm gonna name everyone!!! thankx: nanda, marian, reei, siew chin, freda, yunhui, eddy, marcus, shin, weimin, lala, susu, michelle, agatha, misha, xiu ping, wanting, jamie, jane, shereen, melissa, wen xiong, uncle chua & ng! wah. did i miss out anyone? though not everybody mentioned was there, but realli thanks for e presents.

thankx marcus, marian n weimin for e 'hidding' and dragging time plan @ orchard.. tell mi tt we're gonna have indian fastfood for dinner rite.. so funny ar.. haha. and i actualli believed them. haiz. haha. but i act noe tt sth's not right.. haha. anyways e surprise was i should say e.. erm.. biggest? wildest? haha. tt i've ever had in my 19 yrs of life.

best part was my angels (xiuping included. hehe)

and schmates came too!

hehe. okie so i did teared a lil. and shin said it was not enough. thanks ar.. haha. okie so i was being tricked to mc, and i dunno anything abt it. i sort of knew tt mani pple is gonna appear, but not in tis way. haha. sorry guys to make ya all squat for so so long. juz to wait for me to come. i realli appreciated it. so erm.. e usual cutting cake, eating meals.. and playing of games. haha. so funny lar. see. e bday gal had e authority to choose who to be sabotaged.

ppl! dun mess wif me! haha. thus, i chose e 2 tt one planned my party, but always trying to ignore me.

haha. den e other who u cant believe anything he say, cox most are tricks and lies. haha.

well.. its fun. thankx to all again! =)

oh now e present part! i realli din wan ya all to spend so much time & $ darlings but i realli appreciated and loved all of them.

therefore, i gathered all of my presents from my frens, and took a family pic!

haha. now, my bed is officially crowded! haha. after tt i went home, cox to my surprise, nobody is staying out late. weird.. haha. but still i realli did enjoyed. thankx guys! *muackx* p.s: To all my frens, despite e fact tt other parts of my life are breaking down, you've made this part real beautiful. thankx guys :)

Lots of loves, hugs n kisses,

Sharon

[Dear Angel, are u happy for me? i'm so happy tt i forgot how bad was e days be4. do u noe it too and kept it from me? i'm glad u did anways. thankx ya =) but still, i guess i made a mistake/messed up, which i din realize till ppl mention n point out. i guess u noe wat is it. sometimes, things are clearer if i stays unclear i guess. no matter if it's not wat i or whoever think, i guess i'm fine with myself. dealing wif e stress at home is more than enough to handle any other stuff. its not tt i dun wanna be true, i cant. i dun wana start and let history repeat itself again. yes, i'm avoiding but it's alrite. cox i can handle it. u noe it best Angel. i hope they dun leave me anyways. it's okie if one is leaving or all are leaving. Angel, pls stay. now i witness precious frenship. i hope it'll last veri long my frens. hang on together alrites. Angel, stay close. I LOVE YOU]

i died.
11:14 PM

Thursday, October 11, 2007

9th Oct, 2007:

went out for dinner with jill and her mummy. thankx auntie for e treat! it's realli yummy =) after tt, as usual, we went to kbox. okie i gotta say tt it's scary to turn 20. to have a digit 2 in front of ya age. it's like more responsibilites and i should grow up! oh manz.. it's so stressful wen it's ard 1140pm.. ok it's veri funny and weird, but i dun wana turn 20!! argh! haha. jill will be able to explain to u wat i did, but dun ask her! haha. den erm she played e happy birthday song for like 3 times!!! cox u noe.. take pics.. make wishes.. cut cake.. eat cake.. haha. so here's e pics. thankx gal!

thankx for e cake! she made it herself! so sweet of her! i realli liked it a lot a lot! =)

well, jill might not noe tt i teared a lil after e celebration. haha. so touched and i dunno how to describe. thankx mum for e present! love ya! =)

10th Oct, 2007:

went out wif zhi hui. thankx gal for e meh meh! haha and of cox e b'day card. i realli love it! now sippo has a new fren =) as usual, we chatted a lot and shared a lot of stuff. but there's still sth tt i couldn't bring it up. or should i say there's some things tt i would like to keep to myself. thankx gal for tolerating my nonsense for so long. love ya! =) thankx for all e wishes my frens. love ya all so much! =)

11th Oct, 2007:

wen e clock struck 12, i broke down. it's so hard to try to enjoy ya b'day. so many things are happening during these few days tt i cant realli leave it aside and enjoy my special day. dun realli feel like celebrating anyways. e outing was juz a special outing for me n zhi hui. cox it's been so long since our last outing together. dun feel bad or wat gal. i realli appreciated tt u came. thankx ya! and so throughout e nite, i couldn't sleep properly. throat was hurting, mind was exploding, body's temperature was high. i knew tt i could not make it to work alr. but i did get to wake up and try to fix my throat. by taking strepsils. by e morning, energy lvl was 0. tts y i went to visit e doc instead. and had 2 days mc. i feel so bad. i wanted so much to go to sch and teach my kids. so mani things to do wif them! i missed them so much! anyways, of all e things, i'll get over it. it's onli a matter of time. now tt i've see through things, it's time to move on. i should not be bothered by it in e first place. wat am i afraid of? losing? but i think it's time to let go. its not impt alr. cox there's no more meaning to it. i waited for 24 hrs. think it's clear enough. wake up! haha. granny needs me. i need her too. i'll do my best. no matter how difficult it is. but at e same time, i need my own time. time out for me to breathe. i'll be better by e next blog! =)

Lots of loves, hugs n kissses,

Sharon

[Dear Angel, thanks for being wif me. thankx for not leaving me. wat can i do without you. do u need mi as well? am i a burden anyway? i cant help thinking abt others. somehow u noe tt i cant do e same for myself. wenever i think too much, i hurt myself e most. many of e times it's e same. i do not wan e history to repeat itself again. perhaps it's time for a change or juz remain where am i now. i may need u so much. but i need u to make e right decision. leave wen it's time to leave. i may be sad. but i'll get over it. i'll miss you. I LOVE YOU]

i died.
8:10 PM

Monday, October 08, 2007

hey heys.. haha. susu juz reminded mi to update my blog after so so long. haha. okies here it goes!

12th Sept, 2007:

bro's POP day! well, i remembered tt i've got lessons in e morning, den i left early to take train down to pasir ris to meet mummy. we had presentation early in e morning and e nite be4, we all went home late so as to do e posters.

thankx for e hard work gals! -jamie, jane and sheeren. by e time i reach there, i was damn hungry. haha. i remembered tt veri well! well, though it's a veri long wait for e parade to start, i played ds and entertained mummy @ e same time. wen it started, i kept laughing cox it's veri funny. haha. i mean it's like national day parade. haha. and erm bro din appear in e first half of e parade as he din went for e rehearsal. but later on wen we're supposed to go down and look for him, we had trouble. haha. they all looked e same! OMG! after we managed to find him,

mummy put on e cap for him.

den we took pics. so here's e pic! congrats bro! well done! =)

17th Sept, 2007:

eh i forgot why we're out this day, but i think it's juz an outing ba. haha. forgot alr lar! hehe. so here's e pics.

i remembered tt we went to watch a movie, but i dunno wat movie. i mean i forgot again. haha. it's okie lar..

20th Sept, 2007:

celebrated freda's b'day. sorry gal i couldn't make it for e actual day. so sorry. anways, ppl, if u're gonna celebrate b'days, dun go to e cafe outside cine. cox dey do sell cakes, but no candles. so ya might wanna consider to go somewhere else. after tt we met up wif bro, kar kit and jillian at hardrock cafe. well i juz wan my bro to get to noe my frens, cox i noe almost all of his frens alr. so tts mainly e purpose of tt nite's outing for mi. tot we would stay out till quite late. but my 'uncle' bro was tired and wanna go home. he ar..haiz. haha. here's e pics =)

28th Sept, 2007:

marcus and shin's first book out. outing is on e next day though. but today uz a lil outing. haha. erm.. reei n i went for an interview in a childcare centre in e afternoon, den went over to bugis to meet marcus, siew chin and marian. den, we went to.. eh.. i forgot leh. haha. i tink we took bus to town and catch a movie. den wei min joined us at nite. after tt dey went home, while i go waited for bro to go home together.

well, sometimes i juz wanna be alone. so angry wif myself tt day. but i do not wanna say y alr. it's over anyways. maybe there's sth i dunno. however, i noe it's gonna hurt me a lot wen i noe. but i dun mind. here's e lil pics taken.

29th Sept, 2007:

busy day. afternoon - army market wif siew chin n marcus. den went over to golden mile. den shin joined us for lunch, den we headed to ps to meet e rest for a movie. den.. i had to leave early to meet bro to go to the concert together. concert = cheer's a piece of summer.

here's e pics. after e concert, act wanna go meet up wif e rest. however, after much discussion and budgeting, bro and i decided not to go alr. sorry guys!

1st Oct, 2007:

happy children's day! supposed to bring faith out for a play, but she refused to go wif us. therefore, i asked malcolm to join us instead. here's e pic.

and i muz say tt e thingy is a waste of $. dey cheat $ de! haha. anyways, i muz say tt i dun even noe wats it all abt be4 confirming to go. so it's alrite lar hor. after e play we went to eat swensens, thereafter, i brought malcolm home alr. had a fun day though =)

4th Oct, 2007:

last day of sch! and we're all so excited! hehe. so so happy tt my proj wif marian got a A-. so happy! my first A in this degree course. =) well done gal! anyways, i was pretty high tt day cox am so excited! while some of them prepared for e bbq, we had a game of captain's ball. so fun! hehe. after tt bbq was fun too! den e lecturers bought us a cake to congrat us on our success of going through e first sem in our 1st yr! =) so sweet of them! but it's elmo! oh no!!

after tt we had a game of water bomb!

haha. it's crazy! and here's e very on lecturer who played wif us. haha. mr koh!

haha. he can run damn fast manz. hehe.

6th Oct, 2007:

happy 21st b'day agatha! so excited! she's finally 21! haha. it's gonna be misha's turn in 2 mths time. hehe. here's e pics!

after tt, reei n i stayed out at pasir ris park wif nanda n marcus. we walked, sat,played cards and crapped a lot. haha. reei so poor thing, was sick and yet acc mi to stay out. sorry n thankx gal! thankx guys too! here's e lame pics i took ard 4+ am.. haha.

tts all folks!

Lots of loves, hugs n kisses,

Sharon.

[Dear Angel, wasnt feeling veri well these few days. it's always a struggle to hold on or give up. i shouldn't haf let myself in this position anyways. wen u're on e verge of giving up, there's hope again. how i wish it's true. but maybe it's juz not meant to be anyways. i dun wanna lose anyone. but e feeling's so strong. i love e way it is. but how long can it last. i've no idea. b'day is approaching, but i'm not reali excited. sth is missing. maybe i noe wats it but juz deny tt it's not. since denial starts in e early stage, juz let it be then. i noe i'll get over it. Angel, protect e ones i love. i dun wanna lose them so much. not even you dear. I LOVE YOU]

i died.
9:22 PM